Monday, December 6, 2010

PREGNANT!

I'm so irritated today. So very, very irritated. With what, you ask? Well you, probably. For asking questions. And breathing so much. STOP IT. I'm not kidding. It's really getting on my nerves.

Also! kids! Why do they have to eat all the time? And hug and talk and play and stuff, what's that all about? I don't understand why they can't just sit quietly in the corner and read. Or at least make dinner for everyone! If you have managed to stay alive for four to five years, how have you not learned to make chicken soup? No, really. HOW.

So, did you notice that I'm looking a little down lately? No? What kind of friend are you, anyway? A jerky friend. A friend who's a jerk, that's you. I will call you Jerky Mcjerkface from now on, behind your back and also probably to your mean jerkface.

Unless...you did notice? and you were worried because I look a little down? and you want to help? Well, you know what would really help: if you MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

(and also make dinner, apparently the kids still did not get on that.)

You're sorry. I can tell. I'm touched. I might cry. Or laugh. Or call you big fat dumbface again, you don't know. Neither do I, to tell the truth. Things are getting all 'Harry Met Sally' up in here. It's probably safest to stay away, and if (when) it bothers me at least you won't know the difference.

In conclusion: either I'm a bitch or pregnancy is. whatever.

9 comments:

Natalie said...

Oh, how I love you. You are going to get a lot of dinner offers after this you know. Perhaps I will just offer to bring over dessert. It sounds like that's what you really need.

Laura said...

I prefer to think of it as my "underlying pregnancy anger".

Mauri said...

i'm not bringing you dinner..
i'm just going to steal your computer so you don't expose your grumpy mcgrumpface to the rest of us!
ps. i still love you

Kate Park said...

Ugh, empathize. I don't know how you do it with 3 other little ones. When are you do again? I'm due June 15 :) Love you and your grumpiness.

Melanie said...

ahahaha! love this. i agree, and i'm not even pregnant.

let's get together and be pissed off--or happy if you're leaning that way--after the holidays, yes?

Ashley said...

I want to copy and paste this to my blog! The end.

Toliver Edge said...

I hope my girlfriend never gets pregnant, lol.

Megan & Trever Ford said...

This is one of my most favorite posts. Trever and I both laughed. Because I am doing the same things, except I take it things out on the dog...poor thing. Why can't he just open the door and let himself outside. Or get himself food. Or even play fetch with himself. You are a trooper, good luck.

Grandy said...

I PROMISE--dinner EVERY night!!! No problemo!!!