Beating a Dead Horse

I've posted several times in the past month concerning my rapidly expanding girth, and at this point I would leave the subject alone but nobody else will.

OKAY, PEOPLE! I GET IT! I'M HUGE! I'M ENORMOUS! I'M HAZARDOUS TO THE SIDEWALKS, OKAY! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

I've been joking about it a lot, because it's new and funny and every bit as awkard as it seems, but until the last few days it never occured to me that I might actually be abnormally large. I just thought I was regular 31-weeks-pregnant large.

The universerse is proving me wrong.

Yesterday, I was stopped on the street by a complete stranger, who said to me in broken english, "Oh, Hi, How old your baby?"

"Oh," I stammered in suprise, "Um, about seven months, I guess."

"WOW!" she exclaimed, "He is ... oh, is he or she?"

"A he."

"WOW," she repeated, "He is so big! He is Big Baby! Huge."

"I hope you fall down a manhole," I said.

Ha! Ha! Just kidding. Actually, I said "Ya, he's getting pretty big."

And she said, "Seven months! Such a big baby!"

And I said, "Ha! Okay!"

And she said, "Wow!"

And then I smiled and left.

And THEN I said, very quietly, "Your mom is such a Big Baby. I hope you fall down a manhole."