Thursday, July 9, 2009

conversations with a 2-year-old, vol. III

We're on our way home from swim lessons with two tired, wet, well-chlorinated boys strapped back in their seats.

William tells me that when we get home he would like peanutbutter and jelly for lunch. Except he says it like this: "Mama. MOOOOOMMY. Mama. Mama. Mommy. MOOOMmy. I GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU."

"Please speak quietly, William. I'm listening."

"Mommy, please, when you, when we get, you, I, you, you, ...I want peanutbutter sanwhich. Okay? "

"Thank you for asking nicely, but we did that yesterday, " I tell him. "I think today we'll have turkey sandwiches."

"Nooooo!" he shrieks in agony. "NOOOO! Don't SAY THAT TO ME."

"William," I begin.

"NO! NO! WE GET HOME, I'M GONNA SPANK YOUR BOTTOM, MOM. I'M GONNA SPANK YOUR BOTTOM, MOM!"

"William," I say, "that is not how you speak to mom. You need to use your kind, quiet voice and try again, please."

I hear a couple of deep, sniffling breaths in the back.

"Mommy," he says quietly, "when we get home, I gonna spank your bottom. please."

6 comments:

Katie Lane said...

that is hilarious.

Johnson-n-Johnson said...

I am seriously laughing so hard. It reminds me of how Lincoln says, exCUSE ME MOM, when I am on the phone. what a hoot!

Shari said...

So cute!

Amanda said...

Oh man, I look forward to these sorts of conversations with Jack. But thank heavens we're not there yet. William is hysterical!!

Jen said...

I am laughing to tears. This is sooo much like Nate!

Jess said...

That is so funny and cute! I love hearing the funny things kids say.