Monday, September 21, 2009

the destruction OF MY SOUL

There are two things you should be aware of if you're going to continue reading this blog:

one, I am prone to hyperbole.

(what? I know.)

two, I am not using hyperbole when I say that the sound of my children throwing up makes me want to die. It causes my brain to liquefy, my heart to shrivel and my soul to crack.

(maybe a little hyperbole.)

Since that remarkable day some four years ago when I first became a mother, I have suffered indignities you would not even believe, including, but not limited to:
  • being spit up on
  • being yelled at
  • finding someone else's food smeared in my hair
  • being kicked
  • pregnancy
  • working 115 hour weeks
  • being used as a human tissue
  • being woken up at least once every hour in the night
  • being head-butted
  • having feces leaked onto my clothes

and I can honestly say it hasn't particularly bothered me. even though in any scenario other than motherhood, this list would constitute torture.

however. HOWEVER. I cannot be so blase about the vomiting. it is not possible. Kids throwing up is the one part of motherhood that I simply can't (won't?) pretend is okay, none of this stoic "we're just fine, just keep going, tra-la-la" for me. as far as I'm concerned, they start gagging and the whole entire world is ending. may as well curl up under my comforter and let the agony of parenthood carry me to an early grave.

...wait, where was I going with this?

Oh, right.

hey! guess what happened today?

4 comments:

Jennifer said...

GROSS! We have been lucky in that department so far.... knock on wood. Sorry for your destruction. Ball pit balls. ToysRUs 250 balls for 25 bucks. I think you can get 100 for 10 at Walmart as well. Then we just used an inflatable pool for our ball pit rather than buying an actual ball pit. Most ball pits are 50 buck and up. Not worth it. Worth the money. The kids love it. And I am sure it will be out all winter

Mark said...

We have a sicky at home too. Not fun! We took her pull-up off and you guessed it, Diarrhea, all over the floor from the bedroom to the bathroom.

Johnson-n-Johnson said...

I can't barely read about it without gagging. Sorry about your day. You deserve some chocolate. and fruit loops!

Maggie & Grant said...

I totally relate, It was the destruction of my life!, Last week when all 3 got it at once, and then one got it again 2 days latter and then!, I got it 2 days latter! I feel the pain!